I think s4ndm4n2006 gave really great advice. I would also say to remember that boundaries are for you to remember and enforce, not for them. You tell yourself, "my boundary is that if my brother behaves this way then I leave," and eventually he will get it or not, but it's for you to enforce, not a punishment for him. It's about what you will accept, not about rules you impose on others. Telling someone my boundaries never worked out in my favor. Just enforce your boundaries, eventually they get the drift on their own.

Your brother's behavior is abusive and unacceptable. You did exactly what I would have done, which is just leave. I also have a bullying brother who used to beat me when we were kids. Also some more violent things I won't go into. I have no contact or relationship with him. At family events, I stay away from him. I don't sit near him and if I see him coming, I walk away. My boundary is no contact, so I enforce it by not being around him.

Does it suck? Yes. But it also keeps me safe and I'm a lot happier not dealing with his abuse. I mean, the only thing that sucks about it is that there's an unwanted person in my sphere that I steer clear of. He's never going to be a good brother. I can't change him. So I mourned that and moved on.

Good for you for already realizing that just leaving is the best tactic. Your family will probably notice and try to guilt you. Stick to your guns. Just say, I'm not going to be around someone who behaves that way. Period.

Hope that helps.

Seesaw