We had a talk about our future together. He's been married before and I feel I'm pushing for marriage and kids with him.. or atleast a plan or guarantee that one day it will happen.

He said 'just to let me know' that he would probably commit suicide if we had kids and I decided to divorce him. Then that made me say "well would it be easier if I didn't want all this?" And he said "well, yes" which makes me think I'm forcing or pushing him to want this. He's honest and says he's been through it before and he doesn't want to go through it (divorce) again. I told him that i hoped that 'we' would feel different to his first time and he would be less doubtful, and i would feel like 'the one all along' --- im such a hopeless romantic I know. He says I'm 'the one' ( not sure how he defines that) - I felt all these uncomfortable feelings when he said that - maybe because I don't believe him or maybe because I thought "the one" would feel different and have more certainty or maybe because i didnt really want to say it back.

It really hurt me when he said "I couldn't ask my friends to be my best men again, it would be awkward" "getting married again would be awkward.. it would have to be something low key with just family and very close friends". That made me feel very unspecial and makes me think he doesn't believe in "the one" anymore because if he did it wouldn't matter that he'd been married before, this time would be different and was always meant to be.

he's so uncertain and anxious about the future but now im also becoming more uncertain and insecure as well. He wants to move and settle in his small hometown and I don't really want to. he said he did everything his wife wanted in his first marriage and he's not going to make the same mistake. I asked if he would move away even if I didn't want to because "he's not going to make the same mistake again". He didn't take it seriously and brushed if off saying that I hadnt got any other plans. I havent exactly told him I don't want to move but I've expressed concerns with it - being so far away from my family, having to end my career because there's no work for me out there( not that I love my career though), being so far away from hospitals, any shops, entertainment, universities. He just states the obvious "find another job" "your family is only 3 hours away" "we can live at my parents for free" "the city is only 3 hours away"

I dont think I'm a stable functional adult so sometimes I think that maybe in a weird way we are ideal for each other - but then am i just saying that to myself as an excuse to stay passive and unhappy? I don't think a stable person would want me, after all I've been through.

What should I say when he asks "are you going to leave me because of how I view marriage and Kids?". This was a hard question because I love him and don't to leave but then obviously I don't want to settle for unhappy.

How does this look from an outsiders perspective?