I have a hard time telling the difference. I often feel depressed but the online tests indicate sadness instead. There are certain factors that define depression that I never experience. Primarily being a burden.

As I ponder this, I'm becoming more aware of another driving force - feeling displaced. I tend to be an idealist, believing in a quasi-utopian society. This world of ours is far from that. I'm a huge fan of Star Trek because of the vision behind it - that humanity finally got past the petty differences and learned to get along. The past few nights I've been watching some of my favorite episodes and just feel a profound sense of displacement. I belong out there, not here.

I grew up feeling like I was an alien. I've come to learn that a lot of it has to do with being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). US society in particular values men who are not emotional. Men who "suck it up." Men who are independent. I don't fit what society believes a man should be.