So, after a night of minute-by- minute naps, I’ve awakened to the day...before daybreak. I’ve read in other threads how others with depression reach out but are either ignored or not cared about because others’ lives are just too busy to care about one who is suffering. I have done the same and been ignored or just dismissed. Because I have been independent all of my life, others think I don’t need help - even a kind word. But, who I fooling? After a lifetime of taking care of others and volunteering, no one wants me around if I can’t do something for them.

I think my latest ‘kick in the teeth’ yesterday was my sister-in-law complaining that she can’t make it on her generous retirement income, when mine is only a third of hers. In addition, she takes money constantly from her kids, grandkids and sisters, but she is constantly broke. No, I know I can’t compare my life with hers, but I have been the only one in my life. I’m tired of struggling.

I am lonely, broke, injured, and have no one to depend on. There is nothing left in me. I am just used up.