I'm petrified. I'm taking an application in to a new job tomorrow. For a competitor to the business I currently work at.

I got a job offer from them a couple of weeks ago, and at first, I didn't think about it much. But the more time passed, the more I considered it. One of my friends left my current job to work there five months ago, and she is so much happier there. So much more organized, active in the community, etc.

I work in a "boutique" pet supply retail/grooming salon. The management is a nightmare; very lovely people, but they are getting blatantly run over by the two managers, and will not see what they are doing no matter how many times (over 6 years!) many of us approach them about the problems. They are incredibly stressful ones, like the grooming schedule never being out, both of the managers taking items and never paying for them, neither of them putting their lunches down, not helping with basic tasks that they are supposed to, not working the hours they are supposed to, etc. They are also just not easy people to work with; the one manager becomes a fixation for me when I am hypomanic and I have to avoid her or risk screaming at her.

I am so stressed here. For 6 years I've been repeatedly ignored over people who have worked there less time, are worse with customers, and don't bother to do any cleaning or real work.

But that doesn't mean that the process isn't going to be literally the worst thing ever. I'm so scared to actually pull the plug. It's my first job out of high school. The last time someone left it was so ugly, I can't imagine it will be any better for me. I've wanted to vomit since I took the application.

I mostly just needed to word vomit this evening. I'm so nervous.