What you are experiencing is called 'triangulation.' Your father intentionally ignored your invitation to engage in conversation with you about his new bathroom, b/c you are on the 'outside' of his triangle of people he respects and trusts.
Yet, he engaged with your sister in law because he doesn't feel negatively towards her for some reason. I don't think it's as healingme4me says, that your dad was absent minded and that you need to be confrontational with him in a playful way. My mother does that to me -- I will ask her a question and she'll ignore me, yet if my sister or brother asks her the same question she engages in conversation with them.
What is your relationship with your father like? Do you two get along or is there some underlying cause of discord between you two? My mother and I don't like each other that much; our personalities have always clashed, so I know now, if I ask her a question she won't engage so I don't bother to engage her in trivial conversation about her life anymore.
It won't do you any good to confront your father about ignoring you. Would you describe your dad as a narcissist at all? Where the focus has to be on him, he is always right and everyone else is always wrong? If that's true, the fact that he's a narcissist has a lot to do with how he chooses to interact with you and others.
Although this example of triangulation is about romantic relationships, it can easily be applied to children and parents, etc. because it's a model of how triangulation works.
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"Triangulation is bringing the opinion, perspective or threat of another person, or other people, into the relationship dynamic. Malignant narcissists love to triangulate their significant other with strangers, co-workers, ex-partners, friends and even family members to bolster their claims about you. “Everyone knows what you do to me.” When a narcissist changes the story so that you appear the aggressor, it validates the toxic person’s abuse. At the same time, it invalidates your reaction to abuse. Triangulation puts you on the defensive and makes it difficult for others to know what’s really going on. If you try to defend yourself too vigorously, that may also validate the other person’s claims.
Triangulation can also create love triangles that leave you on the outside feeling unhinged and insecure. They also use the opinions of others (that they have influenced) to validate their point of view.
This is a diversionary tactic meant to pull your attention away from their abusive behavior and into a false image of them as a desirable, sought after person. It also leaves you questioning yourself – if Mary did agree with Tom, doesn’t that mean that you must be wrong? The truth is, narcissists love to “report back” falsehoods about others say about you, when in fact, they are the ones smearing you.
Solution: To resist triangulation tactics, realize that whoever the narcissist is triangulating with is also being triangulated by your relationship with the narcissist as well. Everyone is essentially being played by this one person. Reverse “triangulate” the narcissist by gaining support from a third party that is not under the narcissist’s influence – and also by seeking your own validation."
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Triangulation
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IDENTIFYING AND ADDRESSING TRIANGULATION
Triangulation may be troublesome in a relationship if:
Attention is drawn away from important issues in a two-person relationship.
The third member of the relationship feels pressured, overtaxed, or manipulated as a result of being brought into the conflict.
One of the three people in the relationship begins to feel ignored, excluded, or rejected.
Triangulation pulls a third party into an inappropriate role (for example, when a child becomes a mediator of conflict between two parents or a friend outside a conflicted relationship becomes a confidant for one of the partners).
When recognized, triangulation may be best addressed by the individuals in the primary relationship.
When a third member recognizes that triangulation is a problem, he or she should encourage the other two people involved to communicate directly about their difficulties. When triangulation persists or leads to increased stress, it can often be helpful to find a qualified therapist or counselor and explore possible cause.
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