But it sounds like you are putting all of the relationship problems on your girlfriend, rather than look at the entire relationship as a whole, which from what you've written shows that you and your girlfriend are fundamentally different and are, sorry to say, incompatible.

Was your girlfriend previously emotionally or physically abused? From the way she responds to your confrontational style, it tells me she has been. Has she been abused?

3 reasons why your girlfriend shuts down the way she does:

1. To avoid being emotionally injured by you.
2. She has difficulty admitting to you that you're not meeting her emotional needs b/c either her parents didn't (they emotionally neglected her, for example), or some adult caretaker in her life emotionally neglected her and taught her that her asking for emotional support is a punishable act.
3. She is afraid you will shame or judge or criticize her when she tries to express herself genuinely to you.

How do you handle criticism? Do you blame the other person for their observations rather than look at how your actions affect someone else?

Or, do you take into consideration that what they say may have some merit, and you are genuinely willing to try to change to accommodate their emotional needs?

If you can't learn how to accommodate your partner's emotional needs, then you will never be in a healthy relationship with anyone.

3 Reasons Why People Shut Down Emotionally - Trauma Solutions