I think most people understand, especially if they are educated and/or have some life behind them, that their experience of other people, including their interpretations of what others do and say, and why they do them, can be very much wrong. Related to that is that some people always see the worst in people, rather than best, or otherwise do not give people the benefit of the doubt, and skew others with negativity rather than anything else. Usually I see the impact of this in their negative relationships with others, including one therapist after another. As another poster said, those of us who have been around this board for awhile have seen the OP do this same routine on other people.

I believe it makes sense for people to double check their perceptions about *others* (as to what people know about themselves, this doesn't apply), to examine whether their interpretations or beliefs about others (again, not what they know about themselves, which is all you can really know) are actually what they think. This is not to doubt the person's "experience" but to look honestly at how we look at other people. It has nothing to do with defending a therapist or anybody else, and IMO this kind of negative valencing of other people's behavior does nothing more than promote loneliness. If you are constantly interpreting what other people say and do in a negative way, it's going to be difficult for you to have any kind of relationship, including a therapeutic one. And the OP has great difficulty with social relationships in many different domains, including past blowups with previous therapists. I don't think anyone is doing her a favor to encourage her to think the tiniest of behaviors in a first therapy session is an accurate or reasonable way to approach a new opportunity to get some help and support. You can feel free to criticize me all you want, because I honestly do not feel hurt about it. But I just don't agree that people's "experience", which is really an inaccurate way of saying the way people interpret other people's behaviors or form beliefs about others' motivations and values and intentions, shouldn't ever be questioned. Feel free not to question it if that's your thing. But I will decline to agree with you or believe that I am doing something wrong by suggesting that the links between where the kleenex box goes and the therapist's ability to be warm and connected (or makes a negative statement about crying) in a session is tenuous at best and illogical at worst.

Some people never check out their perceptions about other people with those actual people. When my kid was in second grade, his teacher sent him to the school social worker because he refused to put down his book after reading time was over. The teacher thought he had a psychological problem. The social worker asked why he wouldn't put down his book and the kid said it was because he didn't have a bookmark and he didn't want to lose his place. The social worker gave him a bookmark and the problem was solved.

If I have a problem with something my therapist says or does, I ask, "why did you say X or why did you ask that question?" The answer is almost always different than I thought. I have also said I thought he was feeling ___ (angry, one time) and he's said no, it was ___. If you never check out your ideas about what others are doing and saying and why, you're left in some kind of lala land where you think you're some kind of social star. Every person who's ever told me they are excellent at "reading people" was more clueless than most people I know.

Misunderstandings are so easy to have happen, communication can be very complicated, people do all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons and say things that one person thinks means one thing but it really means another to them. I think the world would be a better place if more people would ask people about why they put the kleenex there rather than make snap judgments about its meaning. Therapy is a great place to practice this without driving your friends and loved ones crazy. Although I have found most people appreciate when I ask questions so I'm sure I understand what they mean, maybe this makes them feel heard. And when I've been on the other side of people making judgements about what I've said or done based on something very small and a wild or over-interpretation, that feels pretty painful.

But I have no dog in this fight. I know what works for me. Dropping my defenses and excessive negativity around what I think about other people has had benefits in my life. I'm a convert from the skepticism of and a boogey man around every corner approach to therapy and life.