I read the first sentence of your email, and it doesn’t look good. You scare me when you get like this. Terrify me actually because I can’t handle anger and because I’m so attached to you. So, I will back down. Not get what I need. Try to make it up to you for angering you. Swallow my needs and my feelings like always. Know that it’s me, that I poison people and things. But this time, I’m giving up. After some time, when I’ve been doing that for awhile and things are good again, I must not get lulled into a false sense of safety anymore. I must remember this. Must stop having hope and believing. So.... now that I’m shut down inside and gone, how do I get myself out of this mess? How do I begin by finding the courage to read your email?