My Support Forums - View Single Post - Dear T: I really need to tell you something XL

LabRat27 · May 06, 2019, 03:00 AM

Possible trigger:

I haven't hurt myself so far. I kind of like the idea of being able to tell you that I didn't. I feel warm and fuzzy when I imagine being able to feel that happiness from you. You know, the point at which I usually roll my eyes and tell you to stop looking so pleased and you just smile more.
No matter what else I'm feeling during that session, that part would make you hopeful.
But it also feels like there's no way I'll make it that long, so why bother trying? I should just get it over with.
sigh.
I did some journaling instead. It's the kind of stuff you'd have a hard time reading. But it's better than hurting myself physically, right?

I have no clue where you are or what you're doing this week. It could be something fun like a vacation or something ****** like a medical thing. I don't think you'd tell me if it was a minor surgery or something.
I feel a bit bad for only thinking about myself. But if I start worrying about you then it will impede my ability to work with you while not actually helping you in any way. You don't need me to be worrying about you.
I do wonder if you've thought about me at all since Friday. Are you going to wonder how I'm doing at any point this week? Or will you just forget I exist?