Oh blanche- dont doubt yourself. It is weird that he grabbed your arm and he may have meant nothing by it but you told him ahead of time and you would think he would keep that in mind. I get triggered the most by smells. Once I met the father of a friend who wore old spice and I had to literally sit down on the curb under the guise of "feeling dizzy" because I couldnt deal with the smell due to past abuse. I met and married my husband young so my abusive boyfriends were short lived events and most of my abuse history is based on childhood issues. But when I have seen really intense yelling and fighting I feel like my flight or fright mechanism is broken because I freeze.