Quote:
Originally Posted by Iloivar
@ golden_eve
Im curious as to why you opt to suggest gradually lessening contact instead of blocking all communication with their friend instantly. Which is what I personally suggest for the OP.
Because from my perspective, there's a chance the "friend" might contact them again and not take the hint. It needlessly prolongs the "friendship" imo. While an instant block can't be misinterpeted and will get things over with instantly.
And either of these two options there's a chance that the friend may not react well and take it out on you
I only ask so that the op can weigh both our suggestions and take what they deem the best course of action for themselves. |
OP here. Well, yes, this is the main point. Thanks for addressing it. This "friend" always vanishes and re-appears. When I am at my most vulnerable she will "discard" me. Then months later a beautiful card or gift will arrive in the mail. Or there will be an email about how much she cares. Or she will start commenting on my Facebook timeline.
Now I realize she always returned not because she cared but because she was tapping me for narcissistic supply.
Dealing with toxic narcissists is to me, hell on earth created by people.
Right now she's in "discard" mode. I sent her an email and she is not replying. This is pretty typical. I guess I will have to do No Contact. There really is no other way.
The myth that she is an old, dear, caring friend is just that...a myth. It is something I was blind to because I didn't want to see she was using that narrative to get "supply."
It's pretty harsh. I am tired of damage control. I see No Contact is the only way out of this. I am so grateful for Psych Central.
Many minds of sanity here!