Wise advice, here. I don't think telling these people why you are fading them is a good idea. They just take it as narcissistic injury and it infuriates them. I tried emailing my friend with very specific examples of things she was doing that were affecting me negatively. She just threw it back in my face, gaslighting me, saying I was making things up, calling me "mental."
What I have learned is that without knowing it I have been"walking on eggshells" with my friend for decades. This is the first time I have tried to be honest with her...and it has been a major storm.
I think my behavior came from wanting to believe the "myth" that this was a loyal, dear friend. It was just a myth. Once you wake up to that fact you can't go back.
I have one sibling who I had to cut out of my life and there has been no fall-out from it. He simply faded out forever. I no longer miss him because his personality is fake and so every interaction we had.
I know the good news is that I am getting healthier. But right now it still hurts. Thank you for your deeply helpful comment.
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Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche
I second lloivar's "instant block" suggestion on social media of your friend who you feel is a narcissist. Who cares - btw - what her reaction is regardless of whichever method you choose, to cut contact with her. That should be the last thing on your mind. Putting her emotional needs above yours -- by worrying about how to cut off contact with her -- is exactly the opposite of good self care.
I just blocked my sister and her husband on FB and I didn't give either of them a "heads up" message first. They already KNOW that my sister and I have a relationship strained beyond repair, so to point out the obvious again to them both in a message would have made me feel like a weakling.
I was in a toxic friendship with a woman for about 7-8 years and it was very one-sided; always about her emotional needs and never about mine. I cut her out by blocking her on FB and that was over ten years ago.
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Sometimes, you HAVE to just cut people out of your life to save yourself from their toxic behavior. Whether or not you need to announce to them, "hey, you are such a horrible person I'm cutting you out" is up to you.
The toxic person already doesn't respect you, which is why they are toxic to you.
Who cares how she takes the news that you are through with her.
You should be celebrating that you're done with her, relieved that she'll be out of your life soon. That opens up another space in your heart for a much healthier friendship with someone new.
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