You know, guys, in life friends come and go, and I have always been okay with that.

This friend has always, always, always been there...saying things like we are old "golden" friends...blah, blah, blah.

I always felt she was just a very "loyal" friend.

But as I progressed on my own healing journey I started to question..."Why is this person always popping up with drama, drama, drama?" I also started to see how one-sided this relationship was...and how she wasn't really a constant friend because there would be many instances where she would disappear...then reappear months later.

Guys, toxic narcissism is no joke. I truly believe it is absolutely the worst human scourge. We see it now all over social media. It is like it has been okay to be a narcissist.

It isn't.

I know I sound pretty stupid about this friend. I actually had to come on Psych Central and read another long thread I started about this same friend...to take me out of denial. I mean I saw how a year ago I was saying the exact same things about this friend.

That's why it is pretty cool to be a long-standing member of Psych Central. You can really track your progress and the members here, all you guys, are simply outstanding. It is so beautiful to come on here and find such caring people who are really dedicated to getting better.

I will probably stay No Contact. It will be extremely difficult. But if I break down and do something like send her a birthday card or something she will just interpret it as me being an "easy mark."

To health! Right now I feel heart-broken, but it is over a myth I had to break up into little pieces. It was never a healthy friendship and that is the myth. Her loyalty was just her circling back time after time for more narcissistic supply.