Hi, PsychCentral members. I'm new here and I didn't know where to post this thread so I guess here is as good of a places as any. I have some stuff to get off my chest.

A few months ago I landed a fast food gig downtown after like 8 months of waiting following my graduation. I was a procrastinator with social anxiety and depressive tendencies, what can I say?

Let's talk about my job. First things were kinda rough, learning the ropes and all but that's to be expected for any new job, right? Everybody has to start somewhere and this was my first job, so I had some leeway. Then one day while I was learning how to do the board(y'know wrapping sandwiches and stuff) my coworker had this to say.
"You gotta be quick, you can't be acting handicapped and stuff"

Obviously, this was highly inappropriate and it greatly irritated me but I sucked it up. Then one day, I was learning how to do the registers( something I actually liked considering my anxiety) but I was also expected to, and here it goes, keep the lobby spotless, make sure all dispenser were working correctly, assemble all the orders so people didn't have to wait long times. Barely any direction whatsoever. Well, this day, next thing I know my boss told me that the ketchup dispenser was malfunctioning so I went and brought it back to the kitchen. When I turn to look back she has a exasperated look on her face and says "Just go home" , After that, long story short, I tried to quit and my parents were on board(they thought it was unfair) but somehow my boss convinced my dad that they were going to 'work things out' with a new schedule and setup- I would be cleaning and prepping condiments. When I mentioned the comment she basically said to suck it up and that I would be insulted all my life. Geez thanks. I wanted out but my dad, being the "man of the house" his words not mine, put his foot down and reluctantly I went back. Things were okay but I felt like I couldn't ask them questions about what I was doing, like mopping or wiping down the lobby, or they would laugh at me. Some of this was justifed probably, but I felt uncomfortable around my coworkers especially the younger ones. I felt like the sore thumb. But I pressed on in despite of this until one day, I couldn't take it. I was taking food out to waiting cars. But, I felt weird and off putting, I was smiling too much, I was going to come off like a creep. I felt like an incompetent imposter. Then I fled to the bathroom and waited for my emotions to calm down, but they wouldn't. I felt out of control and I was scared. So I told the management there that I was feeling dizzy of some such thing, then I caught a ride with a coworker. Embarrassing, right? Well, guess what? The same thing happened last week but this time I had the nerve to tell my manager I was having a panic attack. She just smiled(she's doesn't usually smile that way and especially not at me) and told me to breath, but I couldn't help it; I felt that same out of control feeling.

Now I skipped work, and she wants me back, but I didn't want to go back. To be completely honest, I didn't like the job much before these incidents either. I always thought I was gonna find a job more suited to me. But after days of verbal abuse from my Mom and Dad, my dad took it upon himself to call and now I'm going back tommorow probably.

They didn't care that I was unhappy or experiencing difficulties. All they did was make it about them("I'm a woman if I'm able to handle it, then you sure as hell can") They basically laughed at my "excuses" and coerced me back to taking a job I didn't want back, like they did last time. 'Graciously', they're allowing me to find another job while I work there. But...

I feel alone and uncared for, so I'm reaching out. My parents are thoroughly loathsoame people who can't see outside of their own narrow views of the world(My dad is usually the worst but my mom gave him a run for his money last week) so they're no good for that "sensitive" stuff. Not to mention my dad's abusive tendencies(physical / verbal) towards my brother, but that would take an essay to dig into. Any advice?