Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche
Recovery from a narcissistic connection is like recovering from a blood transfusion. You feel drained afterward but then your body resupplies you with the blood that was drained and you're back to your old self again.
Narcissists are emotional vampires. They drain you of your psychological and emotional energy and never replenish you. While I give myself permission to grieve the loss of my sister in my life (and most likely her children if they side with their mother and cut me out of their lives), I also feel a sense of freedom now, emotionally. I used to go to my sister for emotional support when she would flat out tell me, "maybe I'm not the best person to go to, b/c I don't agree with you about your decisions or choices." So, I feel a sense of independence b/c I am a codependent-in-recovery that is ongoing. I don't think I will ever fully heal my codependence, but learn to manage it, the same way you manage a health problem that is ongoing. She is a narcissist b/c she always gaslights me, never apologizes, counters, invalidates, the whole shebang. I'm already estranged from our brother. I feel like, I should have left my FOO 20 years ago and never looked back. So, now, moving forward, alone, I will have to seek out familial roles with new friendships I foster; that's my plan anyway. The whole point is, that as a survivor of narcissism, it's an adjustment and one that is very unpleasant but necessary for survival and happiness.
Hang in there. Grieve the loss of this toxic connection and don't look back.
10 Steps to Getting Your Life Back After Narcissistic Abuse
11 Manipulative Ways Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths Sabotage Their Victims (Part 2): Survivors Speak Out |
Thanks so much. You are right. It is about being co-dependent. They have their problems which we tend to overlook. Right now my friend is over drinking while on many medications...her husband is over drinking. It sounds like a mess. I don't enter into any co-dependency around substance abuse anymore. I step away.
It's more difficult for me to see how I become co-dependent to someone's narcissistic ********. But you are right. This is really more about me and my issues of allowing myself to become a victim.
Again, you are right about co-dependency being something that may just have to be managed. Because right now I am asking myself...why, why, why do I always end up being victimized by asshole narcissists? The answer, as you know, is because one of my parents was a malignant narcissist...and the other a co-dependent. Ta-dah!
Thank you for pointing out that the main issue here is really working harder to heal (or at least manage) my co-dependency. Of course. I have been sort of lost in a storm heretoday. Thanks for coming in with a lantern!
