If there's one thing I love to do, it's research. I always look for articles online about how to solve problems.

I think for me, it boils down to patterns that get enmeshed that shouldn't be. The codependent pattern of the empathic, self-sacrificer, with the narcissist pattern of manipulative charmer. One person gives and perceives themself to be a failure when their narcissist doesn't reciprocate, but that is because the narcissist is just someone who takes and takes. Not exactly a mutually beneficial match of patterns. But the narcissist pretends to be someone who reciprocates b/c they know how to manipulate the codependent emotionally into not accepting any reciprocation. It's sick when you really disassemble the two patterns to see how each one is so dysfunctional when put together.

The Dance Between Codependents & Narcissists

Escaping the Codependent-Narcissist Trap | Psychology Today