Yikes, your ex-husband said that, "sometimes you have to step on people to be happy." That is scary. But our society definitely rewards people who do step on others to promote themselves. It's capitalism at its finest.

He's probably popping up in your dreams as a symbol of something you're struggling with. Whenever I dream about toxic people, I write down the details of the dream then go and look up the symbolism online. Usually, they represent an aspect of myself that needs to be addressed, or foreshadow a bad situation about to happen or something like that.