I know how you feel. I joined this chat because i do feel alone with my feelings and struggles to have others understand me. When people don't know what Depression is they often think we are crazy for responding as we do, especially to family. At the same time, I have hidden the Depression for so long that I don't think others really believe me when I say I am depressed. Like you, however, I no longer have the strength to hide it or keep it in check and it is embarrassing. Hang in there, you are not alone.