Love does not fix mental illness.

Believe me, I wish it did,,but it don't.

Begin with loving boundaries,,,what will no longer be accepted in your relationship,,what she must do and commit to and what you will do in return. Somebody must begin to change this dynamic and her illness will prevent her as long as someone is supporting her denial.

My last point,,,which has always been very sensitive too me is your children. What long term harm and potential casts of dysfunction are being passed to these young souls by this continued and consistent experience?

They should be first on any list...

I know I seem harsh gordian and I don't mean too but I have seen good intentions drive people into tormented chaos. Good intentions should be characterized by strong loving boundaries and action. There will be slips and back steps but with a willingness by everyone to move forward these can be mitigated by some display of progress...

I truly wish you and yours only the best..

IMHO.

Lenny