I'm doing ok. I've been stressed while waiting for my brother's cancer test results to come in. The doctor hasn't given us his interpretation yet and the technical terms listed in the results are over my head. I spent a good deal of time this weekend reading medical journals and trying to make sense of it, but I still don't know. I think he has stage II of a rare type of blood cancer. I'll have to wait to see what the oncologist thinks though. We should hear sometime this week.


I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. I have a lot to discuss with her. I'm curious to know what she thinks about my psychiatrist telling me she doesn't think I'm bipolar. I'm still struggling with that because I feel like I don't have a grasp on why or how I lost my grip on reality. I feel like I don't know what steps to take to prevent a relapse if I don't know what caused it. I just feel lost. My husband is struggling with this too. He took comfort in a diagnosis that explained how my brain could have gotten so off track and now he has no answers. We are trying to roll with it though and we are looking for the silver lining. This could potentially mean my chances of relapse are lessened and that would be a tremendous blessing. We just have to wait and see. In the meantime I plan to stick with my meds and CBT. They seem to be helping even if we don't know what we are treating.