Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Thanks, DD, for sharing your wisdom. I did therapy for many years, in three different states. I suppose it helped me feel a little less alone, but not really. They were good people, the therapists I saw. I can't say I got any important insights from therapy. I've gotten insights from life. Reading AL-ANON literature helped me a great deal, though it took years to sink in. I just have ended up kind of isolated. When I'm freer to do what I want there are connections I can get back, but then I won't have him. We are very close.
I'm sorry for how alone he must feel at times . . . unable to move by himself . . . and having a hard time finding his words. He'll look at me with a thought in his eyes, but sometimes he can't come up with the words. He never feels sorry for himself. He's brave about a lot of things. I complain a lot. But the warmth between us over the years is the best thing I've ever had in my life.
I'm flodded with tears now, that I can't let him see. I'll miss him so bad when I am alone.
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This was very insightful, Rose. Hugs. This happens when we are caring for someone close to us. We don't want them to leave us but at the same time the whole thing is wearing everyone down. It's particularly stressful. And it also sounds like you are having anticipatory grief.
I've been in therapy during stressful times and I can say with fair certainty that it never helped much. It was more like a distraction. A hobby would have helped as much.
I think this post of yours contained the most positive words about your significant other that I have heard from you. I am sorry if I wasn't empathetic to that...your relationship status and the meaning it brings to your life.
I was kind of hearing the opposite. I thought you were in a situation you didn't really want to be in. Now it sounds like you would just like more help.
I wasn't getting this message before. I thought you didn't want to be doing this but you couldn't find a way out. Now it sounds like something different. There is always this danger when trying to explain a situation to outsiders.
It also sounded like you weren't appreciated and the other person kind of abused you emotionally.
So I think I will stop making comments on this thread based on the facts that I don't feel I understand your situation. Perhaps someone else who is care giving their significant other would be more supportive than I could ever be.
I doubt I will ever be in your position. I am in the position of being alone without a significant other, close friends or family. It is difficult to be alone. It is difficult to try to find a meaningful life. But I am going to work to get out of my present situation as it is not supporting me in any way.