I struggle with pain issues also rheumatoid arthritis [emoji37]. I use a herb called Turmeric there are numerous brands the purest brand (closest to pharmaceuticals) is called: Pure. Most store bought brands work but have other additives, they work but not fully.

Secondly, sometimes going in the hospital is beneficial as you stated you can’t continue that way. Perhaps while there you can suggest a program for people with chronic pain; this is a growing issue in life for many, you maybe helping someone else by fighting for a valuable program. Most hospitals have resources outside the hospital there maybe a program your in aware of therefore getting help from the hospital was helpful. At least you can recover your health with healthy foods and healthier clarity in what’s the best at this season of life.

Choosing suicide severs no purpose accept to end your difficulties (I’m not down playing your pain and discomfort) severe pain can and is over whelming and debilitating to say the least. I know...I’ve been in both places. Depression and impulsive behavior. Yet I sought LIFE because I believed there must be something better to help me. Therapeutic wise I had EMDR to help in therapy. It worked for me [emoji1], I also turn to my faith.

Please know your not alone in the struggle for a healthy life. Many are going through the same thing, sometimes finding another person can help in understanding this may happen if you go temporarily in the hospital. I will pray for you. [emoji255] have Faith [emoji108].