I think it's a taste of unreality. There's no doubt it's addictive in that we find out the fun side of our uninhibited selves. That's what I miss. Somewhere between the low side of "normal" and manic is the real me. I wish I could stay there. Unfortunately the only way to get there is on the way up. Damage at Manic, crash afterward...sometimes it seems worth the risk. Then I look at my life, my age, the only way I've got a chance of living to a semi decent age is watering the grass on this side of the fence. I don't miss the mania, I do miss the fun. I know that this medicated semi depressed person isn't me.
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