I agree. I think you have to learn to love and respect yourself first. Then you can move on to loving and respecting someone else. It has a way of bouncing back at you. At that point, you know what it feels like to be loved.

With your history, I would suggest professional marriage counseling because some of those wounds could be deep (infidelity).

I hope you can work it out with him. If not, I hope you can find some peace of mind in your life - for the sake of your child.