I'm sorry that you hurt yourself, but I do understand. Sometimes when things are going too well, that's a trigger for SH too. I understand about the SH calming you down. That makes sense. It's like the one size fits all coping mechanism. If you're too up, it helps you get down. If you're too down, it helps you get up. Too bad it's a harmful coping mechanism, otherwise it would be perfect. Congrats on the year of no SH though. That's great, and congrats on the promotion at work, that's great too! HUGS Kit