I guess covert and inverted when referring to narcissism aren't really clinical terms. I wouldn't say she is a malignant narcissist because she isn't sociopathic. I guess she is just your garden variety narcissist. The kind you can put up with until you yourself are super stressed.

Not only that. Part of my own healing journey is that I am just no longer able to tolerate abusive relationships. I know that is a good sign...but all in all, recognizing long standing relationships as toxic is a shock in and of itself.