It's been a number of years since my spouse died and I've fallen in love again. I've been noticing two things-- one is that I've chosen a person more suited to me psychologically-- emotionally healthy, honest and brave, funny and kind, open and interested in personal growth. The other is that therapy has helped me be a more open and honest partner, a more intentional communicator, less reactive when something upsets me, clearer about communicating when I'm upset and what I need for support. I've seen deeper and more satisfying relationships with people in the past years, both family and friends. But this new romance has been a testing ground for some of the super triggery things that always have made my freak flag fly in relationships. It's nice to enjoy this kind of intimacy and connection, and the kind it is is something I've never had and didn't even know what was possible.

I think therapy has helped me (it's not the cause per se) in changing some of my interpersonal abilities because I've been able to take a hard look at my abusive past and dealt with how that has shaped me as a person in relation to other people, and then I've been able to practice being open and unafraid (I think most of my issues with people are a result of fear, fear that they'll intrude upon me or leave me, or both). I've been able to work out conflicts or disagreements and learn how to practice the values I want in my relationships. 10 years with the same therapist doesn't hurt either, to have someone know you as well as my T knows me and to have the kind of safety that comes from just doing this a long time.

Good luck. You don't have to sign up for 10 years. You can just start with a single session and see if you want to do more.