In my state it is not ok.

Other states have right to die/assisted euthanasia on the books but I am unsure about their requirements.
I believe you have that right.
Only you know if you have exhausted your options.
In this state they will lock you up if you are a threat to yourself or another.
But if you are bound and determined to kill yourself then eventually you will.

Having said all of this....
My brother killed himself and it about ruined my family.
My parents blamed themselves, they are still not over it some 25 years later.
Mental illness is something we don't look sick. no one can get into your mind.
We can encourage you to try different coping skills and different medications. Talk with a therapist, get a good pdoc. WE want to make a difference in your life...we want to help you cope and offer support. That is what this forum is all about. Providing you hope and support.
This is what you need from us.
I hope you will consider the forever decision which is a good book. Good grief is another excellent book.
I am here, private message me if you want.
I offer you hugs today.((((HUGS))))
bizi