I suspect my mom has OCD. I'm adult, I have my own family, kids. I have some issues with meeting with mom. Whenever we have set a date, I feel anxienty long before, even month. When it's over, I'm really sad for couple of days. I don't really want to see her or spend holidays together but I feel shame for that. Mom is super concerned with table manners. She stresses out about every little piece of crumble on table. She keeps telling loud about every wrong thing at table. She makes kids clean up crumbles fallen from eating table at a hotel room we are leaving anyway. My chilhood was constant fight about cleaniness among other emontionally abusive stuff. My problem is that I'm afraid to confront mother about her issues. I have bipolar disorder from all the **** I have gone through and I'm very angry with all the experiences I had in my family which has put me through years of huge stress. However, I can't stop meeting them, I feel submissive, I have problems confronting her about actions I don't like that she does. Every now and then she goes hysteric when she feels blamed and then she goes for suicide theatening or silent treatment or psychosis with absurd theats e.g. leaving job, going away from home so that we would have better life etc. She is stigmatising MI and would laugh at possibility to go to therapy etc. She wants to have childern over for a week in summer, but I hate this idea. Sorry for chaotic narrative. I would appreciate any comments on how to pull the pieces together.