Would you rather I suffer indefinitely, like I have almost my entire life? I've been in severe physical pain nearly constantly since I was a teen. I've dealt with mental struggles my entire life. I don't trust myself, ever. This leaves me not trusting most people. Meds suck, but I've taken them anyway. I've been in therapy more than I've not been. I'm exhausted with everything and even if I get a few months of more stable, I'll wind up back here, ready to end it. I don't have a plan. I just don't care because I don't feel like I should.