So, you no doubt have figured out I give mental health care workers the benefit of the doubt and have been stressing they are only human and as such should be cut a little slack.

Well now is my turn to express upset over the impending end of my doctor-patient relationship. I am feeling distressed and a wee bit sick over it.

Yesterday at session, my psychiatrist informed me he is winding down his practise with the goal of closing it entirely in November. I am not sure what his reasons are. I did note he wasn't himself yesterday (I will detail in another thread) and so wondered if something might be up he is having difficulty with in his own life.

I am devastated. No, there was no transference in this relationship, I have never treated it as anything other than professional. But I felt he was a good fit, that he understood me and I him. I knew I was very lucky to have him as compared to stories I have heard both here and from peers. So I feel scared that such a relationship will not exist with whoever my next doctor is. I worry.

The second part of this is about that worry over who I will get or be stuck with. My name will go into the referral pool and I will be stuck with whoever comes available once I reach the top of the list. There is no picking and choosing here. While free healthcare has mostly benefits this is one area there is a detractor. The worse part about being placed back into the pool is that the wait for a psychiatrist is now about 12 months or longer. Frankly it really makes me nervous being without care that long.

Anyway, enough said I suppose. I just wanted to share my nervousness. I know there is no solution to this.