So, a few months ago I met two new friends. Lots of new friend pleasantries exchanged (jokes, good cheer, no personal information about families or friends).

But now that I've 'exposed' my real life to these two people, their responses have shown me they were probably just acquaintances and 'fair weather' friends from the start.

I'm going through hell arguing with my sister about getting our mother qualified and set for assisted living, as her dementia gets worse and worse, while I try to balance grad school, getting more student loans, trying to find a full-time job, and a place of my own to live that I can afford using my student loan refund money.

Recently, one of these 'new friends' sent me an email after our last casual brunch together, to tell me her friend was willing to barter with me for website work for me in exchange for writing for him.

I told her that I forgot about that conversation, couldn't pay him anything, that I had a lot of personal stuff going on (listed above). Her response showed me her true colors; she responded to remind me of the conversation and that was it. Didn't even sign her name or comment on the large amount of stress I'm going through.

This is the same woman who defended her college roommate, she introduced me to, who within a few days of meeting me, sent me an adult-mean-girls message on Facebook, accusing me of being fake, "You want everyone to like you. You come across strong and outgoing but you're really weak and fragile." Of course, I responded to her message, telling her I thought she was projecting, that her message to me was rude, and that I had no interest in being her friend.

So, I then messaged our mutual friend who introduced us -- her college roommate -- and told her that while her friend sent me that rude message, I still wanted to be friends with her, and hoped it wouldn't interfere. But, she lied, telling me it wouldn't interfere b/c she then defended her rude college roommate friend of 30 years, writing, "Wires crossed. You are too sensitive. She was being intuitive."

FFS, no she wasn't being intuitive. She was being rude. She doesn't know me well enough to judge me like that. She was gaslighting me, probably b/c she didn't like my personalty, and felt that my friendship with her friend was threatening to her somehow -- like I was friend poaching which was not the case.

I would NEVER send someone I just met, a rude character assassination of their personality on Facebook. If I don't like you, I tell you. But I do it respectfully. I don't tell you "you're being fake." I think her rude message to me is because she's really insecure and used to trying to undermine other women she views as threatening to her 30 year friendship with her college roommate. Kind of weird in my opinion. But then I don't have friends from childhood, high school, or college whom I keep in contact with. I've had friends poached from me too, by women like this woman accused me of doing (wrongly so) and it's hurtful.

Both of these ladies have over 2,000 FB friends and post multiple selfies on their FB wall every day, of what they're wearing, of all the merlot happy hours they'll host at their place, etc.

So, after I emailed this other gal that while I was grateful for her help I was going through all of this personal stuff, it's all of the sudden I'm not that interesting or fun to her anymore. Hence my thread title for this post.

I really think people's true colors -- their true intentions with you -- becomes clear when you ask them for emotional support while you're going through a rough time. The people who reciprocate with emotional support, or at least acknowledge "Hey Im sorry you are going through this" obviously like you enough to want to be your friend.

But this woman didn't even acknowledge the stress I'm going through, so that makes me think, she's only ever viewed me as a fringe friendship, on the outer edge of her social network universe.

I'm disappointed. I thought she and I had a lot in common as friends. Now at least I know she doesn't view me as much more than a fringe acquaintance. Anyone have similar experiences with new friendships?