Another session with T. I keep feeling angry at him and can't help myself. I told him this today. I told him how angry I was that he told me he was angry. I told him that I'm sick of hearing, "I'm sorry you felt hurt." He said that I am angry because he won't tell me what I want to hear, which is that he wishes he didn't tell me because it caused me so much pain. And about the hippo, I told him I felt like he took my feelings and totally discarded them. The hippo is very symbolic at this point. It represents how I took it because I wanted a piece of him and he coldly snatched it back. I don't care if it is rational or not, that is how I feel. He didn't say anything to that. He refuses to budge. We both have agreed that it is a power struggle. I can't figure out why I am so stuck on this. I guess I felt abandoned when he expressed his anger and when he took back the hippo. I guess I'm trying to get him to see the error of his ways because otherwise it means that he feels it's okay to emotionally withdraw from me. I realize that these are all emotions, feelings that I can't control. I am cognitively aware of how irrational this is, for whatever good that does.

He told me that he had consulted with the other woman T. He said that she said that I might have felt abandoned when he took away my emailing privileges and when he expressed his anger and that is why I am so angry now. He asked me how I felt about having someone else giving her input on my case. I told him that I first was worried but that I'm not now. I also told him that I wanted to talk to her. When he asked what I might talk to her about I frankly told him that I was going to tell her about how horribly he was treating me, LOL. He thought that was humorous. I told him that I am stuck and that I don't think he can help me out of it at this point. I assured him that I wasn't abandoning him, LOL.

Huh. . .