No. I have a DID diagnosis. I even got a second opinion from an expert in the field, and he confirmed the diagnosis.

My system is designed to appear invisible -- even to me. What I mean by this is that my Parts will always respond to my legal name, provide my legal age when asked, etc., and also that one of them seems specifically driven to keep me in doubt of their existence. The psychiatrist who I recently saw (who confirmed my diagnosis -- the original diagnosis being made 10 years ago...I've spent a good decade trying to ignore it/run from it/deny it/whatever) explained that "denial of my own experience" is a big part of DID. Which, I guess, makes sense...given that the dissociation is in and of itself a method of avoiding one's own experience for survival.

I am almost always co-conscious. I do have some complete amnesia for my childhood -- entire important people just deleted out of existence. It is very rare, now, for me to experience such total amnesia. Instead, what more often happens is that "I" am shoved to the back and end up powerless while another Part (or alt...sorry, I struggle with the terms, because it becomes "TOO REAL"... it's hard to explain. It's all a part of the seeming NEED to deny my own experience)....anyways, I end up shoved to the back while someone else takes over. I am still there. I don't black out. Sometimes, I can literally feel their emotions. Sometimes, I can't and it's like I feel nothing while they are expressing INTENSE feelings out loud (they might be yelling at someone in intense anger while I feel nothing; they might be sobbing in pain while I feel nothing emotionally). Often, they express beliefs or thoughts that I don't agree with at all. My own memories of things they say, etc. are foggy -- as if I am remembering something that happened a long time ago or to someone else even though it just happened and I WAS there. But I don't black out. TOTAL amnesia is very rare for me -- like so rare that I can pretty well explain it away most of the time.

The psychiatrist says that MOST people with DID present with "micro-amnesias," which he describes as not being able to recall what was just being said in a conversation or being able to recall things, but they are foggy/as if it happened to someone else. This is the story of my life.

BUT...like I said...I am almost always co-conscious. I hear the others in my head. And, they often seem to hear what's going on out here.

I'm curious as to how this compares to integration. Do you stop having separate voices in your head? Do you stop having conversations in your head? Or, do you just start thinking of all of the separate voices as being your own thoughts?