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Originally Posted by golden_eve
IThere was something I longed for from them. A sincere apology. Ownership of how poorly they treated me. I wanted to hear, "Oh I am SO sorry I hurt you in so many ways. I didn't mean to, I really cared for you deeply and loved you deeply. I am so very sorry. I was a bad boyfriend to you."
That is what I really wanted to hear and never got.
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After my divorce I was an emotional mess, thought about her 24/7. I read a pretty good self-help book, the most important concept in it was one I remember to this day:
Quote:
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Those that have hurt you either don't really know, or don't really care.
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That went a long way in helping me let go of useless hopes and never ending loops.
I was beyond incredulous that she would
never cop to the affair, even though I caught her red-handed at a motel with her lover.
Funny thing about expecting " apologies": the person expecting such has an elaborate construct of the hows & whys they are owed the apology. The person "owing" the apology couldn't possibly be aware of the wounded party's complex case supporting their need for the apology.