i dont know if any of you remember but a few months ago i found porn on our computer. wasnt hidden or anything. totally easy to find - even the history was up showing it was there!

well that really really hurt. not because he looked but because he said he wouldnt and he did. exes have looked at porn but at least theyre up front about it.

it took a little bit but i realized that if he was doing this im not the victim per se. i must be doing something to make him feel this void. he said he didn't like it and didn't know why he was doing it. he had used porn as a teenager to substitute for real relationships. and when he felt depressed and like we were in a rut, he went back to it. so ive had to work on letting him know that i appreciate him.

in short, i believe that cheating is hardly ever just sex. and if someone has gone far enough to cheat, there are other problems in the relationship. internet is the same thing, just anonymous. its making them feel like theyre not doing something wrong because theyre not physically touching the other person. but both parties are responsible. so i still consider that cheating, but thats not to say that the person doing it is totally 100% to blame.