Quote:
Originally Posted by Doingmybest2170
I’ve never been awful with communication and my therapist thinks this is something my father instilled in me. When I am upset I never tell anyone what they did to upset me, every time I don’t stand up for myself my heart hurts. I don’t know why I can’t, I feel so guilty when I do, like nobody cares or I shouldn’t be feeling what I’m feeling. My boyfriend is amazing, but the one before him would always flip things on me and make them my fault. I don’t understand why I can’t tell my current boyfriend when he does something that bothers me, he’s supportive and loving and no matter how much I know he’d listen and be willing to do things a little differently for me I can’t seem to bring myself to tell him. It can be something so small, and sometimes my frustration builds up because I haven’t said anything and I snap at random moments. I know it’s not fair to him at all, he’s so supportive and loving and I can’t even tell him that o have a hard time expressing myself.
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Did your therapist add anymore insights to your behaviour? If what you told us is not sonething you have discussed with them (including feeling guilty, and the buildup of frustration), I think that is something you should do.
Do you have something where you can release your frustration instead of snapping at someone? When you start to feel like you're about to snap, perhaps you could redirect your attention to another activity. If someone tries to communicate with you during this time, you could let them know you're not in the mood without getting into what is bothering you specifically. Maybe that is something you could work with for now?
And If you really can't get yourself to express your boundaries in the moment you feel a type way, perhaps just randomly mentioning it in a casual conversation is better? That way you won't have any additional discomfort if you try to set your boundaries the moment they've been crossed.