I understand and have a great deal of sympathy.

My father (80) is going through a health crisis. It is I who am bearing the brunt of the responsibilities. Well not quite, my adult son drops in to see his grandfather and tries to bring food by. So good of him. He grew up right. But my brother apparently didn't. He lives mere blocks away and has seen by dad but once for coffee since Dad fell ill months ago. He has made no effort to help, financially or otherwise.

Meanwhile, I live a 3hr drive away and try to get up there at least once a week. I prepare food dad can heat up beforehand to leave with him and drop off groceries while there. My boyfriend and I have discussed us footing the bill for a subscription food box program. Actually, it is my boyfriend footing the bill as I have no income. It is costing a lot in fuel and the extra groceries I am buying my father.

My brother has done nothing to lend a hand. Financially he is doing very well for himself earning well into the six figures yet he has made no offer to help with the financial commitment involved in Dad's care. Yeah, a coffee... that has been the extent of it. I have spoken to my brother about our father's illness and the repercussions it is causing. He is oblivious to it. When I tell him he is all surprised but makes no offer to help do anything about it. He is blocks away and works from home - surely he can drop by now and then. He is comfortably well off - surely he can help me out.

This happened with our mother too during the last year of her terminal illness. I lived 6 1/2 hrs away and managed to see her every month while he lived 15min away and made no effort.

He is stingy with his time and money.

Incidentally, I already have a great deal of resentment for the man. I left home at 17, put myself through university, faced numerous crises, and faced a great deal of hardship. Never did I see a dime from my parents. Meanwhile, my brother had his education paid for, didn't move out until age 27, paid no room and board, and when he finally did move out his cost of living was subsidised. I know when he got married my mother was constantly giving him money. He bloody well can afford to give back.