Hello AVLusedtobe. Sorry you are struggling with this. While I understand the awkwardness of the situation and your desire to be acknowledged by name, I think you are underestimating the level of confusion and adjustment involved for any 9 yr old child to have a new adult in his life who is neither mother nor father. Try putting yourself in his place. Divorce is very painful and confusing for everyone involved; adults and children. Taking time to adjust and process does not have to mean that a child has a disorder. The fact that your partner's son awkwardly returns your love and care (as you said) is wonderful. I wonder why you are not giving him more credit? He's just a little boy trying to figure out his place in the world after the major life-altering event of his parents choosing to live apart. You could casually tell him it's okay to call you by your first name if he would like though I would not recommend pushing or forcing that. He sounds very bright...I imagine if you give him enough patience and time, he will likely come up with his own name for you. In my opinion, the more pertinent issue here is your self-esteem and getting some support with this new important role in your life. Feeling like "a nobody, disrespected & unappreciated" sounds like an extreme response to a boy you say you get along fantastically well with. Your self-esteem is not based on this little boy, it's based on your thoughts and feelings about yourself. I think that could be worth exploring with an experienced therapist. Peace, hope, and a bright future to you, your partner, and his son.