Quote:
Originally Posted by AVLusedtobeB
I,ve tried to broach the subject with him casually a few times but he kinda just goes akward / pulls a face / change the subject..
Maybe I should sit down and have a bit more of a structured conversation?
My BF has spoken to him about what he would be comfortable calling me but with much of the same response. Although BF maintains that this is just the way he is, especially if it someone new in his "family" which he thinks is actually a good thing as he sees me as some sort of "family". (He took 2 years to assign some random nickname to his mothers boyfriend)
So one the one side its how it makes me feel (like a nobody, disrespected & unapreciated) but on the other side it makes me worry about the kid, why is it so difficult for him, does this point to some emotional / social problem. Did his parents split cause some dissociation?
|
the part that concerns me the most is that you're talking about a 9 yr old that you're worrying about being appreciated and respected as a first thought and what's going on with the kid as a second.
Step outside yourself and approach it with it not being about you but very obviously the discomfort of a 9 yr old that is in the midst of confusion and not sure how to address someone because he doesn't know. Take the bull by the horns and relieve him of figuring it out byt talking to him and telling him that you understand that he doesn't know how to address you and then offer something like that he can just call you by your name. Worry about titles and things like stepmom and stuff when that time comes which may not be automatic either. take the pressure off him and give him an "out" by saying "you can just call me ______ if that's ok"
Don't take this personally at all. As you said he likes you and you're close in other ways so bank on that idea and know this is not personal but about being the girlfriend of a dad which is always kind of difficult.
I have a now 26 yr old "step" son, even though he considers me his only dad now and was all he knew since 5 yrs old. It never got to the point where he would easily call me dad either and it was a struggle for him and this is in a situation where I was married to his mom not long after I met him. Again, don't take it that it means anything about your worth, or appreciation or any of that...