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Originally Posted by ZenZeta
I'll start off by saying this. I only learned the true meaning of codependent 2 years ago and discovered I fit the definition perfectly. I've spent time in CODA meetings and have been trying to "do the work"
Due to an interesting childhood, I've always struggled with connecting with people and been the proverbial Lonely Loner. I have a habit of aligning myself with "takers" and end up getting REALLY hurt or mistreated in relationships.
So...one of my coworkers had become a "friend", but sometimes I struggle with her ability to "Keep it Real" with me. Quite honestly, her "realness" is quite hurtful. I've brought up the fact that her comments have been hurtful before and she just says I'm being sensitive.
For instance, she made a snotty comment (in front of people) to me, and I texted her and said that the comment hurt my feelings. Her response was "Well maybe you wouldn't be so hurt if it wasn't true."
Is it me or is that pretty much NOT acknowledging that I felt hurt by what she said? She constantly takes little digs at me about my outfit or my hair or my makeup and brushes it off as "keeping it real", but I'm starting to think she's just mean and doesn't really care about my feelings at all.
Others at work have labeled her a bully, and she does have quite the strong personality. Am I being sensitive or falling back into my codependent norm of accepting less-than treatment?
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if being not sensitive means having to put up with *****es that have no filter on themselves and hide behind the "being real" bs so they can bash and criticize others brutally then I guess I'm sensitive too because I won't put up with it and I'm affected by people like that too. No, you're not overly sensitive, you're human and the excessive behavior is on her part not yours.
She has no manners, is coarse and abrasive. your evidence that you're reacting normally should be that she's already labeled a bully in the office by others meaning you're not alone in your thinking.
She's not a friend either, you're just another target for her critical sniping. Walk away don't even bother giving her the time of day, only deal with her on things you must.