I can't even imagine how hard what you're going thru is. My partner was sick with cancer for 3 1/2 years before he passed. It affected him physically, but not his personality. I think it must be much harder when their personality is affected. I'm so sorry you are going thru this. What does his doctor suggest? Maybe your husband could be given medication that is calming? I'm glad you reached out and I hope you have a good support system.