Yeah.maybe I do need to seek some kind of support/guidance for myself. He has stopped all his treatment and refuses to follow what doctors want him to do.I can't force him to do anything if he doesn't want to.

I feel like I need to save myself.I have been so depressed and think about killing myself often because of this horrible situation.It just seems so cruel to walk away from him when he clearly needs help and needs someone.But he doesn't even see anything wrong with anything he says or does.He makes excuses for himself but won't do anything he needs to in order to help himself. I am able to help myself though and maybe I need to put myself first and do that.It's just so hard though,we have been married many years and I just feel so torn.But I seriously cannot continue this way,it's too difficult and draining.And it's making my MH issues so much worse.