I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, the walls! I COMPLETELY understand how you feel! Please hang in there! You'll get out of it! I completely agree with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given PLENTY of great, wise, wonderful advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it as much as you possibly CAN if you want to! I'm so sorry you're feeling so lonely right now! If it can help, we'll ALWAYS be here for you! WE'LL NEVER ABANDON YOU! I PROMISE YOU THAT! There are many websites that you can use as well if you need to talk to someone! I've heard 7 Cups Of Tea is a great one! Try to give it a try if you can and want, ok? Keep working on yourself and I'M SURE that things will get better! Please take GREAT care of yourself! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings if you haven't already! Please DO consider it if you're not already seeing one, ok? We'll ALWAYS be here for you! I PROMISE YOU ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! I hope things will get better soon for you! Please keep us updated as much as you possibly CAN if you want to, ok? We DO want to know how things are going for you and if things are getting ANY BETTER! Sending many hugs to you, the walls!