Hello ZenZeta. I am sorry that you are struggling with this issue. You said
She constantly takes little digs at me about my outfit or my hair or my makeup and brushes it off as "keeping it real"

This does not sound like friendship to me. This sounds like basic disrespect. I believe you have met someone with very low self-esteem and rather than address that in a healthy way, she is engaging in one-upmanship in order to try to prop herself up.

I am typically not so blunt on PC but I sincerely recommend that you end social ties with this person. Unfortunately, I think you said she's also a colleague. Do I have that right? I would avoid having a direct discussion with her about her behavior. For one thing, she has already indicated that she is unwilling to adjust or improve her behavior. So I don't think that will get you anywhere. And you also don't want to trigger a high-conflict situation at work. So I recommend gently pulling back without explanation. At work, just be civil and professional. If she suggests a night out or something, just politely decline the offer. You don't have to give a reason or can simply say that you are busy.

I would not call her "toxic" because that's not a word I use to describe people. Though I certainly agree with you that this dynamic is unhealthy. And as I said, I would not call it friendship.

I also would not call you "too sensitive." I'm not sure it's possible for someone to be too sensitive. By that I mean, a person's sensitivity is part of their nature. Some fall higher along the continuum than others. A person could certainly be defensive or reactive....those are problematic responses. But simply feeling sensitive, in my opinion, is not in itself a problem. Does that make any sense?

My tip for you with finding friends. You want to look for people who like themselves. Genuinely. They are comfortable in their own skin. They are pleasant. They enjoy others and treat others well. If you are out for a drink or meal, pay close attention to how a new friend treats the server or bartender. You can tell a lot about a person's character by how they treat folks in the service industry. If you start bonding with pleasant people with healthy self-esteem, you will find true healthy friendships.

As for those who are unpleasant, no need to label them or spend a lot of time analyzing them. They are unhappy. Just quietly draw a line, step back, and focus on yourself. You can inwardly wish them peace.

Sorry you have had these unpleasant experiences. Your acquaintance reminds me of a school "friend" I once had. She'd make fun of my clothes and hair and when I was clearly hurt she'd say: "I'm not trying to offend you...I'm just really honest." When I stepped back, it was quite obvious that her goal was indeed to offend.

Peace, hope, and a bright future to you ZenZeta. May you find wonderful friends who honor and appreciate you