It doesn't seem like much to ask, no. Finding that perfect person can be hard though. "Right time right place" kind of stuff. It's extremely frustrating too, I know. We just have to keep trying... I wish I had proper advice for you, but alas all I can say here really is "I understand what it feels like and I wish you the best". Online dating? Meetups? I dunno, I tried those myself and it didn't work out but it still could and perhaps would work for you, so don't give up. Perhaps talking it out with a therapist could help you. There's only so much we can do here for you, not knowing you on a deeper level.