Before I transitioned to living as who I am, being conditioned to live as a guy was not easy on me. I remember from being young that it was discouraged to talk about your feelings, or from crying etc. Whenever I cried others tried to get me to stop, or discouraged it. It sucked. Yet when my sister did, she got comforted and encouraged to just "let it all out". So yeah. It's societal gender norm conditioning ******** that contributes to this stuff. It took me some time to get in connection with my emotions after living with toxic societal expectations of me being something I wasn't.