I was told this by a counselor AS I ADMITTED TO DOING IT!

I truly wanted to just walk out of that office .. but back then, I was a person that would just sit there like a punching bag no matter how much or who flung the abuse at me.

The counselor even had the nerve to laugh at me - bc I was 35. Told me I was just doing it for attention.

I will tell you the truth. I did it bc I was hurting so bad inside there was no way to get it out. I did it the way I did - bc nobody would listen when I would say what was wrong. They would laugh or tell me I was lying or that it wasn't that bad, etc .. so.. I made sure they had to view it n read it, if they would not listen. So it served a dual purpose for me. It was cathartic. It was a means of expression (not attention) so people understood.

I have not done it for close to 10yrs now - but the past couple weeks, the urges are strong again. What keeps me away is I remember how it stopped working unless I dug a bit deeper - and how I also had a sense of shame about doing it and how proud I am of being clean of it.