I am sorry that you are facing a challenge where YOUR boundaries are not being respected. It sounds like your partner doesn't understand boundaries and ends up allowing others to plan your partner's life for him and at their wim.
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Now, when they first had a rough idea of their wedding date, partner and I were separated (pretty sure partner is autistic 'cause his communication is even worse than mine, which has caused a lot of issues for us).
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This could be why your partner doesn't understand boundaries and tends to be dependent on others to organize and do FOR him including you now that you are back together. As far as you not being invited to this wedding, that is probably due to your partner's friend not knowing if your partnership is solid and not wanting to include you because they simply don't know if you are going to stay in a relationship with their friend or not. Also, this friend probably doesn't know that your partner tends to be dependent on you when you are together. People often are not really aware of the true dynamics of a relationship. In this case these "friends" are just trying to figure out how to do a wedding and probably don't know the etiquette. While you are back together, that could change and they don't really know YOU that well and are just trying to include him as a friend.